Robbing Peter to pay Paul

If I only had a day

Or three

I could get back on track

Sort myself out

The routine - the presence the love

Things are falling off but I don’t have time tomorrow

Or the day after

The vase hasn’t fallen yet

But the paw of time pushes it to the edge

While I’m distracted by doing all the things I really need to do

I know deep down I’m avoiding all the things I really need to do

All the ways I really need to be

I don’t want to be tougher or more direct, stricter, smarter, faster

I want to be enough

but enough got me here

I’m not ungrateful, I’m unsustainable

I have long had a practice of stealing time from myself

Late nights or early mornings or in the case of right now

both

I’ll wake up at 4 in the morning to go to work but struggle the next day to wake up at 7 to make coffee for my wife

There is a man who lives in my house who makes breakfast and always wants to hear about your day. He walks the dog and gets back to his emails and makes dinner plans with a friend he hasn’t seen in a while.

He makes time.

I rob him, every chance I get.

What a sucker.